Well guys Satan sure doesn't want me on the good guys' side and let elaborate:my parents divorce trial was today and my dad lost so when I came home from work he sat me down and accused me of stealing paystubs for evidence in the trial for my mom and when I gave up calmly talking I screamed that I was innocent and he jumped around the bar table and choked me and we sat back down when he let me go and he made cracks at my faith and appearance so i bolted to my neighbor's. he wasn't home so i peeled out of the neighborhhod and my car died 1/4 mile down the road and my dad shut my cell phone service off so I couldn't call for help. I managed to call my sis before hge shut it off so she came then I called the cops and they filed a report and might take my dad to jail I hope they did. he and his bitch lied to the cops but I have pysical marks on my neck and I'm scared that it isn't enough to prove me right.

Sorry for the color change but I'm too lazy to type out what I can copy and paste from an e-mail I just wrote lol. I called Carter from Murray Hill in absolute tears I'm gonna be so embarassed the next time I go to swing night. If I go, but I have someone to take now so I prolly will. My dad and Annette were drinking and of course were as rational as Islamic radicals. I've been crying all night and plus my car died :( and its my baby. Well I hope I didn't take too much of your time but at least I had a good day at work and when I dropped by work after the incident I got alot of hugs :). So I'm starting to feel better. I'm so sickened by my father and his sinfulness (especially to lie tonight and have his wife lie as well) that I'm going to officially have my last name changed. He has made me sick on so many levels and after tonight I no longer want anything to do with him or his heritage. Well I'm out of here I have nothing else to say and I have to find some tissues cause my eyes and under my nose is all soggy. Bye...

Holy cow my baptism rocked. They didn't turn on the heater so it was like 40 degrees and I was shivering like crazy. I was scared that if I got water in my ears it'd hurt like crap since thats what happens when water gets in my ears, but it was weird its like the water avoided my ears. And even though I had my eyes shut when I was under I saw everything going on around me as if my eyes were open. Then because the water was so bloody cold all my back pain just went away for the longest time, so after all that I totally feel God had a part in my baptism. Thats what I believe. But today I woke up and my step sister is all boasting to me she's telling me "Yeah Matt while you're still looking for a girl friend, I'm engaged and I'm happy and you'll prolly never be." I mean yeah I understand she should be excited and all but rubbing it in my face like that was just cruel. Oh well I forgive her, even though she really means to be hurtful to me. I have to work in an hour and I work 7 hours today. Its sad that work is the only place I'm not by myself six days a week but its cool and I get paid for it. Anyways MacGuyver just came on so I'm gonna go watch that. Maybe I'll hear from yall soon, if not thats fine I can read my bible in peace. Bye!

Hey ladies (since no guys come here lol). Today was fine and work was fun. I got my hair cut finally, but i think they did it too short :(. Everyone in charge at FBC has been calling me all day confirming my baptism time and everything lol so I'm relieved its set up. I'm so nervous! I can't wait to cleanse myself of everything I've done before and start anew. Welp Thats all I really have to say so I'm gonna go back to trying to find something to do so see ya!

Hey guys. Hasn't been a very good weekend. Swing night stunk for the most part. Prolly because I'm so alone there. Though it does provide a good work out. Work was busy as crap yesterday. I was scheduled to be getting practice cooking (as all managers need to) and the main cook guy never showed up on the busiest day of the week so I was alone in the kitchen for like 2 hours. I go to work in about an hour and I should be training for my manager position( doing the computers and money and what not). I haven't heard from anyone in like 3 days except for Miranda last night who asked me to get her some "stuff" at Wal-Mart. I don't wanna sound like a girl hater like all of Jon's recent posts, but girls never call me or anything unless they need something from me and that really hurts my confidence ya know? Anyways I'm at my mom's and scratching like crazy. I was outside for like three hours helping my neighbor try and replace a tail light so I was eaten alive by the bugs. Yall prolly noticed at FBC this morning. This little girl caught a snake while we were out in the drive way and Mr. Don killed it Highlander style lol. Just now a guy from FBC called me on my phone to set up my baptism appointment. When it rang I saw that it was a 904 number so I thought it was Aimee calling me since she's the only one down there other than Carter that has my number. But nope it was almost as good now that I got my baptism appointment set. I e-mailed Courtney and Heather and neither have responded yet so I'm wondering if they gave up on me... probably I get boring quickly lol. Anyways I have to get dressed for work. Plus I'm thinking of trying to get a baptism party going for me but no one up here really cares about it so prolly not gonna have one lol. It was nice seeing everybody that I did at FBC this morning. You guys rock! And girls all of yall were as jaw dropping as ever ;). Welp time to run to my dad's house again since my work visor isn't here at my mom's..maybe I'll look through my car again. I'm out, bye!

Today is my only day off this week and feels good to be able to do nothing lol. I meet up with my mom in a bit so she can give me money to go to swing night tonight. I don't know but it might be my last swing night. I'm tired of spending all the money to go down there just to watch a bunch of couples have a good time. Its kind of a taunting to me ya know? Oh well the Lord will provide....eventually :P. I just thought I'd post on here while I'm watching MacGuyver. There's not a whole lot to do today so I'm pretty much stuck posting on here or watching TV. And if I'm not doing that I'm reading my Bible which I enjoy alot. I just wish I saw more real people outside of going to church or work that weren't asking for things from me. But that too the Lord will provide and I have a strong faith in that. Welp I'm gonna go and see my mom at her work. I'll check yall later no doubt :). Bye!

Man I went so nuts today with anger and disappointment. I was just so looking forward to being baptized and officially starting anew but nooo things had to mess up and now I have to wait a week and the people that did show up that don't usually go prolly won't come again. And then I looked back after listening to the sermon and realized it was God's way of showing me to keep my sense of humor intact and the humility that things that are planned rarely go as they should....or do they?? LOL anyways I made a complete ass of myself again by pretty much being so angry and pouting. I'm watching the Devil's Advocate again... Ahhh what a good christian movie :P. Just thought I'd thank everybody for showing up to show your support lol. And talk about a sign from God after the service I noticed my name was written on the back of where I was sitting so if thats not a sign to keep going then I dunno what is :P. Anyways I gotta go and chill lol see ya homies!

Howdy peeps! Aaron's party last night was awesome! I got to see a bunch of cool people like Danny and Aaron and other people I can not spell their names lol. Even better was that his roommate had DDR which I enjoy doing to no end as everyone there discovered as I was making an ass of myself lol. Welp right now I'm bored with nothing to do and for the past two hours I've been going through all the links on other peeps blogs posting on strangers' blogs LOL. I'm so hyper because I'm so nervous about tomorrow night. Though sadly my feelings were totally hurt a few hours ago. I went over to my friend Miranda's house to invite her to my baptism tomorrow and she acted all disappointed that I found religion and said she couldn't go. Me and her used to be the best of friends and now I feel she thinks I lost my way or something. Our friendship hit a snag and we haven't really talked in awhile. She hasn't even seen me since April. It kills me that me and her had a falling out cuz she's like the only girl I was ever unconditionally in love with that I would do anything for. Oh well thats the past right? All I need is God's love and I feel it flowing through me and it liberates me so! Plus I know all of you down in Jax are there for me (well at least when I'm down there anyways lol). I can't wait till tomorrow night! LOL I hope someone goes so I am not all alone in this undertaking. HEHE well back to raiding blogs for "Matveria"!

Well yesterday and today were simply incredible! Lets begin:

YESTERDAY:  First off I had a good time at Sunday School (I'm starting to get less shy with wsinging louder during the songs even though I prolly sound horrendous. lol). Then the morning mass really connected with me. And then I went back to FBC for a class called "Believeing God" and despite the fact I was the only guy in there in a room of about 30 middle aged women lol, what I learned just totally blew my mind. I'm serious my hair was pointier than ever after I got out of there cuz I really felt loved by God. In turn that good feeling gave me the courage during the evening mass to actually come forward to join the church and start my journey of being saved. That was scary being the only one coming down out of the couple thousand people there. I went into the back with a counselour that set me all up and everything. And I was so full of emotions when I got out of there. I felt welcome there and yet at the same time scared if I was doing the right thing, and then I felt confused.... because all of my friends at FBC were standing right outside the door. I was confused because i couldn't find them earlier to sit with so I had reckoned they weren't there. But when they told me they were there to congratulate me and encourage me I was sooo about to cry even had tears in my eyes, but I was trying to hide it (hope I did a good job lol). Then I went home afterwards and told Kari all about it.

TODAY:  Well I started today off pretty well I couldn't take a shower right as i woke up cuz SS was in the shower so I started reading the book of John like the counselour said I should. And I actually enjoyed it! To be honest i couldn't put it down. Four chapters later my step sis finally gets out so i could bathe and what not. Soooo.........I went to my first day of work and it rocked too! I didn't want to leave when it was time to clock out hehe. Everybody there is so friendly and we don't get alot of business so I can bring a book to read. Heck even if I don't get the manager position I'd be fine there. But don't get me wrong I think God layed that position for me to get and I'm gonna meet him the half way on getting it ;).  Anyways I'm at my momma's just chillin. I have to go get dressed for Aaron's party which I intend on going to (that is if I don't get lost). And now there's only one last thing:

POLLS OF THE DAY:

1. Should I cut my hair about 1/4-1/2 an inch shorter so I can go back to spiking my hair or should I keep it slicked back like I had it last night?


2. Should I dye my hair a new color or keep the natural light brown with blonde stripes on the sides?(keep in mind the blonde stripes in my hair are natural and not dyed)

3. If yes to dyeing on #2, what color?

4. Any other suggestions to make me more appealing to you women? :P

Welp its Saturday and in an hour I meet the owner of my new job and most likely start my first day of work. I'm really nervous. I hope I get along with everybody there and that I'm good at what I'm set to do. I'm just scared to start work somewhere new ya know? Oh well I bet if I stay in a good mood it'll be fine. Last night me and Colin went to the bowling alley and played some pool. He and his friend hooked up with some girls while we were there. So I didn't want to be a fifth wheel or anything so I basically walked around and talked to the people I knew. At least until some rednecks challenged me to a couple of games of pool. I played three games and won all three :). LOL I can get so jealous of Colin sometimes its like he can get girls without even trying, but that doesn't matter I'll learn one day. I had to drive this girl he knew named Britney home last night she seemed really nice and I talked to her on the way home. Her boyfriend left her at the bowling alley to be with his "other" girlfriend so she was stranded and upset. So I tried talking to her saying she can do alot better than that. And she thanked me and offered me gas money but I'm not one to charge nice girls gas money (especially when they had a horrible night). I'll probably never see her again but I feel good that I helped. LOL I'm such a hopeless romantic hehe. Man am I bored! there's nothing to do for the next hour now that I said everything I needed to. Welp God bless and see whoever at FBC tomorrow!

Hey guys! Well I'm bored and I have nothing to do so I thought I'd post about my recent events. Chris finally decided to tell me we weren't gonna hang out today after all :(. But thats cool things come up like that sometime. Then I had to go to Wal Mart to get black Dickies for my first day of work tomorrow. I realized then what a paradox it is for me to go clothes shopping for myself . Get this apparently my body size is the size in between mens and boys sizes so there's no pants in any store that actually fit my waist :(. They are either too tight or too baggy and need a belt. I'm glad I started going to the gym on base because I'm getting tired of being such a skinny little guy. LOL I can't wait to be buff :D. Oh and my next occurence is bound to get you girls a little ticked (especially you Courtney). I just got a phone call from Jenn asking if I was still letting her borrow my computer since my dad won't let me set it up in his house. She has her number unlisted and when she calls it says "Private Number" so it could either be her or Colin and I thought it was Colin so I actually answered it. Its amazing how women only want things "from" me but want nothing to really do with me ya know? It kind of hurts my confidence. She tried covering it up by saying she was calling to see when I started my job but I had the feeling she was just calling about the computer. I'm starting to get good at telling when a girl is trying to just play me. Jenn has her son back for the weekend which is totally cool. LOL all in all its still a good day. Boring but not bad :). Oh and I have a prayer request for my grandmother who's not doing too well in Connecticut. She has alot of cancer in her neck and they dunno whats gonna happen. Well God bless!